The Viable Alternative

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Note: If you haven’t read the first part of this blog, click here.

The Illusion

The experience I had with “self improvement” (or lack thereof) speaks to the issue that all of us face.  We’re unable to create what we want for our lives because frankly we’re unable to realize The Illusion that we’re all trapped in.

In The Illusion, it SEEMS as if we’re going in a particular direction (e.g. it seemed as if I was trying to improve myself), or it may seem as if we’re going after a particular goal or that we are being a certain way.  On the surface things may look that way, but in actuality something entirely different is going on below the surface such that the way things seem aren’t what they really are.

Hence The Illusion: we’re deluded into thinking what we see in terms of our behaviours, goals, actions and desires are really what they are.

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I remember it clearly as if it were yesterday…

It was in the early 2000s, in the month of November, on a sunny afternoon. (I know, how cliché, but it really was sunny that afternoon.)

It was a really strange time of my life because I wasn’t working, having left the only “real job” of my adult life almost a year earlier.  Well, I was sort of working with some startup that had big dreams, but I wasn’t getting paid for it, and frankly, I was just going through the motions with it and with life as a whole.  I really had no drive to do anything, no motivation, nothing whatsoever.  Of course I would’ve “liked” to have the symbols of success (nice care, nice pad, money, etc.) if they were bestowed to me by some benevolent “genie”, but really, that obviously wasn’t happening. Not only did I NOT have the desire or the motivation to pursue these things, but honestly, I didn’t think I had the capability of attaining them either if I were to pursue them.

Now, of course I know that the pursuit of material things is a road to nowhere, but really, if I had been pursuing these things, at least I would’ve been passionate about SOMETHING, and have been moving in SOME direction.  In my case, I was just standing still doing nothing.

The thing was, I wasn’t lazy, nor was I depressed.  I was just simply devoid of any desire for anything in life.  I just didn’t care.  I was bereft of any inspiration to do anything at all.

Was I happy?

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