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You know, when I first completed this site, I considered this a milestone in my life.  After years of writing about The Viable Alternative, I finally was able to compile it all into one neat little site.  I beamed with pride at what I considered an intellectual masterpiece of all the insights that helped me on my path of personal development.

Well, after my “crowing achievement”, when I realized all was “done”, I excitedly email several trusted friends of mine who’ve been what I’ve considered confidants on my path of self-discovery and tell them to check out my site.

One of my friends, who has been a trusted mentor of mine, gave me what my ego considered to be some damning feedback about my site.  Now, I always welcome constructive criticism from trusted and well meaning people, because it helps me to grow and work on my blindspots.  However, due to fact that I am a sensitive person by nature, (a quality that I have always loathed about myself), the feedback was quite stinging.

The feedback given to me was that I still came off as very guarded in my writing, which, she said, is a reflection of how I am in real life.  Furthermore, I was told that my writing had too much head and not enough heart.

What? …..Wow!  How could someone NOT be impressed by such an obvious intellectual masterpiece?  After all the tremendous growth I’ve made in the past 2.5 years culminating in me being FINALLY ready to do a site like this, how can someone still be saying this?

Well, after licking my wounds for a few days, and almost scrapping the site altogether (I said “almost”, but yes, I’m such a perfectionist. .sheesh), the clouds began to part and a whole new realization about what’s to be the next phase of my life opened up.  A lesson that I was only now ready to receive had become plain to me.  The next phase of my life is to involve learning to let down my guard.

You see, one of the main reasons I started my path of self improvement was because I felt I was too stifled.  I wanted to learn how to un-stifle myself and become fully self expressed.  I hated the fact that some days, I’d be this suave, charismatic person, while MOST other times, I was stilted, self-conscious and inhibited.

I would read stories about people I admired, one of them being “The Rock,” a.k.a.  Dwayne Johnson, professional wrestler and actor, and I would gush with admiration (and envy) when people would praise his charisma, his wittiness, and aura of power.  I wanted to be that confident, charismatic guy that people loved and thought was cool.  I wanted to be that guy who was always on, always had something witty to say, who exuded that “power.”

To be honest however, I failed miserably at achieving this “goal”, and the more I tried to be that “guy”, the more frustrated and inhibited I became.  For YEARS I banged my head against the wall getting absolutely nowhere.  In fact, I reflect in embarrassment on how annoying I must’ve been to others.  Can you imagine what it’s like to be around someone who’s “trying” to be cool and confident in order to be liked?  It’s weird when others do it and I must’ve looked quite weird myself.  There’s a sense that something is off, and my friend, something was definitely off with me.

Well, the reason why I failed so miserably was because I was missing a piece of the puzzle.  That piece was a willingness to let down my guard.

For as long as I can remember right from infancy, I had a deep emotional wound that left me with a feeling of always being weak and vulnerable.  This caused me to be very sensitive as a child.  I used to cry at the drop of a hat.  From some of the deep soul searching I’ve done over the years, I really think it might’ve come from the fact that at one point in my life at a very, very young age, I felt as if I were abandoned by my mother.  That wound was further exacerbated by the emotional wounds inflicted by people in and out of my family while I was growing up.

With me seeing the world as a hostile, unfriendly place in which I felt too weak to defend myself against to the very core of my being, I learned to build a wall around me that would hide my pain from me and from others.  This would be where I stopped living from the TRUE core of who I was, and constructed a false self known as my “ego”.

So with this type of past, here I am YEARS later, saying that I want to be free, spontaneous and fully self-expressed but failing miserably.

The problem was that this whole “altruistic” goal of mine was all b.s.

I was coming from my ego, where I wanted to look cool so I could be loved and admired by everyone.  I really didn’t give a rat’s ass about expressing myself from my core, which is what TRUE self expression is.  Hence the conflict I had: on one end, I was desperately attached to projecting a certain persona to the public while on the other end I was cursing my life as to why I wasn’t able to freely express myself and be spontaneous.

By identifying with my ego and its goals, I was able to stay hidden behind the wall I built up to hide my pain.  And if I insisted on hiding my pain, there was absolutely NO way I could ever hope to ever be “free”.  Imagine watching a fight where someone gets badly injured and is trying to protect his wound.  Chances are you’re going to witness this guy receive a good pummeling by his opponent.  He’s not free to “express” his fighting skills because he’s trying to protect something.

Ironically, I was that guy, the guy who was being pummeled by life because I couldn’t, or wouldn’t let my guard down.  Imagine wanting to be free, but somehow “something” seems to be holding you back.  Take it from me, it sucks, and I would know because I lived that way for most of my life.

I wanted to be free but I didn’t want to pay the price.

The price I now realize would be me manning up, letting go of my ego so my core self can shine through.  That would mean giving up “control” of how I wanted to look and giving that power over to my core self.

It would mean letting my guard down and being……vulnerable.

By the way, when I say, “vulnerable”, I don’t mean I become a person who falls down on his back crying anytime someone does or says something to me I don’t like.  Rather, I mean being a person who’s willing to express and SHARE who I am with the world, warts and all, without fear of who will or will not accept me.

At this new crossroads in my life, I realize my overwhelming desire that I nursed deep down for years to lose my “inhibitions” would NEVER ever be achieved if I was attached to looking a certain way to the people.  That’s not being free, but somehow, I was able to lie to myself all these years that I was indeed striving for freedom.  Somebody shoot me….just kidding.

My ego had absolutely NO interest in letting my core self shine through unless it expressed an image that was pleasing to my ego.  It was terrified of giving up “control” because it was afraid of what may come up.  Hence the reason for the existence of the robotic, emotionless, frustrated individual that many people knew to be me, living totally inauthetically in that he said he wanted one thing (freedom of self expression) but was actively pursing the opposite goal (expressing a false self engineered by the ego in order to look good and protect himself).  Sad, but true.

I now accept the fact that by letting my core shine through, everything expressed by my core may not be in line with the image my ego wants me to present to the world.  Everything expressed by my CORE self may not be so “peachy”.  My “warts” are certain to come up as well.  However it’s these “warts”, these odd quirks that we all have that actually set us apart from each other

Now, don’t get me wrong, like I said earlier, the last 2.5 years was probably the period of some of the greatest growth I had ever experienced in my life.  A lot of this growth had enabled me to connect more to my true self and become less inhibited.  The feedback I had received was my friend pointing out a blindspot that I hadn’t been able to see in order to aid me in my growth  and self-discovery process.  Had I been given this feedback let’s say three years ago, it would’ve sounded like some extinct Biblical language.  In fact, it was like a extinct language to me, because people had told me before that I was guarded, but frankly, either I didn’t care, or I didn’t know really how to take it or what to do about it.

Hey, like I said in my about me page, I am in no way some type of guru.  I am a work in progress and will be so until the day I die.  I am here to share my insights that I’ve learned in my life to help you along.

I’ve written this to extend my hand to you, in the way someone who was drowning in quicksand has figured how to climb out, and wants to take others in the same predicament with him as he climbs to safety.  I’ve learned the past year that fulfillment, the number one thing we all seek in life, is gained by giving value to others.  How I personally gain fulfillment is by inspiring others, and giving others insight from what I’ve been through.

There’s no way I could really effectively do that unless I learn to let my guard down so my own core self can shine through.

If you’re painfully self-conscious to the point where you’re afraid of making any move because you’re afraid of looking bad, I feel your pain.  It feels so constricting, so stifling.  It feels as if you’re in your own prison looking out at a world that seems to be freely living life.  What’s worse is when you try to solve this but can’t seem to get anywhere year after frustrating year.  It feels as if your life is passing you by.

I invite you to welcome the possibility that you really have no idea what freedom really is…..News Flash: I didn’t.  The “freedom” you desire has strings attached, but that’s not really freedom, is it?

First off, let’s call a spade a spade. There’s no use living under false pretenses any longer.  Your REAL goal is to hide behind a wall and have the world see you a certain way.  That’s why you haven’t been able to make any “progress”.  You think you want one thing but have been going after something else.

Think about comedians.  I’ve read that some comedians tend to be some of the saddest people on this planet, though they make people laugh for a living.  I’m not saying all comedians are like this, but those who are, they use humour as a wall to hide behind their pain that most likely originated from childhood.  Comedy is a way they escape from their pain and also gain acceptance from others.

They may be able to make people laugh and gain people’s acceptance, but are they really free?  Are they REALLY expressing themselves?

Hey, I have my own wall I hide behind, and will continue to do so until I fully evolve to the next level where I’m fully able to let my guard down.

The difference between me and you is that I have now realized The Illusion that I’ve been living and choose not to live this way anymore.  I’m sharing my insight here with you to give you a chance to make the same choice.

Now, if you’ve seen the light and have made the decision that you don’t want TRUE freedom and rather continue hiding behind a wall constructed by your ego where you’re seeking to appear a certain way to the world, I wish you all the best.  At least now, you’re honest about what you want and are no longer lying to yourself.

If on the other hand you’re tired of living all the b.s., and want to be truly free, you must first acknowledge that there is a SELF within you that you had no idea about that is far, FAR greater than any image that your ego tried to project to the world.

It is a self so complex, so vast, yet so beautiful that it scares the hell out of your ego because your ego can’t truly grasp it, so it tries to bottle it up and put it in a corner to use for its own selfish devices.

Unstifling our selves involves giving up the idea of “control” and surrendering to a greater self that can never be controlled.  It involves getting out of our way and letting ourselves BE.  Now, what may now come forth may not always be “pretty” the way we may want.  It may not always be wrapped up in a nice neat little bow.  Some “dark stuff” may emerge from time to time.  However, because it will be coming from our CORE, and not from our ego, that in and of itself is BEAUTIFUL as well.

Our true, core self within each of us does not give a damn about how the world perceives it.  It has no need to “hide” because it’s already aware that it was “fearfully and wonderfully made.”  It’s not concerned with the past or future because it lives in now, and is thus able to flow from moment to moment.

Now, doesn’t that sound like TRUE freedom to you?  Well, it does to me.

Giving up control is the price you and I have to pay for freedom, but I’m prepared, because as I heard a “retired” millionaire once say, “freedom ain’t free.”

This is The Viable Alternative.

Hope this helps.

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Welcome to The Viable Alternative.  My goal is for you to be inspired through this concept to express your own unique greatness to the world in a way that only you can, using whatever resources and treasures that you uniquely possess.  This site provides several tools and resources listed below that will help you remove the obstacles that stand in the way of you breaking out of The Illusion and living The Viable Alternative.

1. Podcasts where I interview people whose lives are a reflection of The Viable Alternative;
2. A personal development blog that shares the insights and lessons that I’ve learned on my own path of self discovery and self actualization that I embarked on so that I may live The Viable Alternative.
3. Recommendations of different books, organizations, movies that have helped me in the past;

What is The Viable Alternative?

In this site I give a general description of the concept here, and I talk about its principles and its four pillars, but you may still be confused as to how it applies in real life, so rather than summarize it like I did here, I am going to expand on it so there is no more confusion.

The Viable Alternative is when you choose to live to the core essence of your being, to the extent that God within is expressing Himself through you.  Think about when you watch a show like National Geographic, and you watch in amazement an eagle soar to great heights ever so gracefully, or you watch the breathtaking speed of a cheetah, or you watch in admiration the majestic prowess of a lion in its natural habitat that just oozes out from its being.  Each of these animals expresses a facet of Divinity that is unique to that particular animal.  The animal doesn’t think or doubt, it just does it, naturally, without ever questioning its “right” to do so.

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself that maybe, just maybe that there is a Divinity waiting to be expressed THROUGH you?  Can we honestly say that most of us express anything near Divinity in our day to day lives?

The sad fact of the matter is that although we’re awestruck at watching the Divinity expressed in other creatures and other people, we’re totally unaware of the tremendous wonder within us that we ourselves can manifest when we let go and allow the Creator to express Himself through us.  We’re totally unaware because most of us are caught up in The Illusion where we’ve believed the LIES others told us about whom we are.  We’ve let others dictate to us who we should be and how we should live, and we strive to be something we’re not just to be accepted by The Illusion.  Thus, the people who we accept ourselves to be pale in comparison to who we REALLY are.  When you embark on the path of The Viable Alternative, you become tired of living a lie, and defiantly take the path of self discovery to uncover the TRUTH of who you are.  You become curious about how the Creator can express Himself through you.  The spark is ignited within when you first see the glimmer of Divinity within you or you become inspired when you someone who has “allowed” God to express Himself through him.  In the latter situation, you see the greatness, and seek it for yourself.

Still confused?  Ask yourself these questions:

1. What “great” person do you admire or are inspired by past or present?
2. What inspires you about this person?
3. What do you admire about this person?
4. What special impact did this person have on his/her community, nation, group or the world at large?

The Illusion would have you to worship this person with the underlying mindset that you could never hope to do something great yourself.  It would constantly remind you of all the shortcomings you have that will get in the way of you rising to greatness like this person did.  It will make you believe that you are actually inferior to this person.  It will give you tons of reasons why you aren’t great like this person.  However, when you begin to adopt the mindset of The Viable Alternative, the feelings of hopelessness and unworthiness about yourself are replaced by an inspiration about yourself.  You realize that just like you’re inspired by this person, within you, you possess qualities that you can equally if not more be inspired by.  Qualities, which you yourself can take and do something extraordinary with, just like the person above!  Qualities, unique to you and only you, that I may add, can be used by the Creator to bring you to greatness in a way that only be expressed through you.

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In addition, this person that you admire may have done something that had a special impact on people of a certain group, nation or the world at large because he was touched, moved and inspired to be a service to these people and fill a need that they have.  When you adopt the mindset of The Viable Alternative, you realize that at the very core of your being when you were created, there is a purpose that moves you, a cause that inspires you, a people that you were meant to serve because your very soul screams out to fulfill a need in them in one way or another.  This will make you have your own SPECIAL impact that is unique to you that no one else can have, an impact that God needs YOU to create.

Still have questions?  Well think about this:

1. Is there a certain type of industry/hobby you follow (i.e. sports, music, entertainment, gardening, fashion, technology, art, speakers, etc.)?
2. Who are some of the “top” people of this industry?
3. WITHIN this genre, niche, industry (or whatever), how do their talents differ? (e.g. in boxing, Muhammad Ali was known for his speed while Tyson was known for his power)
4. How do their personal “styles” differ?

What am I getting at you ask?  Well, take a look at any profession, sport, vocation, skillset, etc, you’ll see the top people of each not only are great at what they do, but even amongst their peers who are also recognized as great as well, each of them have a different type of greatness.  In other words, one person’s greatness is expressed in a different way than the others.  They each have their own style.  Some people would say that FDR and Abraham Lincoln were two of the greatest Presidents to ever hold that office.  However, if you were to describe their greatness, they were both manifested in different ways.  Also, there were things that Lincoln could do that FDR couldn’t and vice versa.  Each had his own personal style of the way he did things that amounted to greatness.  It’s as if the God working within each wanted show you that there is no limit to who He is, AND, each person was a unique manifestation of God Himself.

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So, when you have the mindset of The Viable Alternative, when you go down its path, you’re aware that as you rise to the heights of greatness, that others who may share your skills/abilities in the same area as you can NEVER hope to express the same type of greatness.  You may play the same role as someone else in whichever way, but there is a unique way that only you can fill it, because your greatness at the core is different than the next person.  It has its own unique style.  Think about when you watch the Oscar’s, or the Grammy’s, each actor or performing artist present at these award ceremonies, although all talented, has a different way of expressing his/her talents, and of course, each has different talents within the same industry.  When you enter into the Hall of Champions in your own dominion of greatness, you’re secure that though all who are present are great, your greatness is something that no other can exactly mimic, and that you possess a greatness that  will make even your peers marvel in wonder, and inspire others to do something great themselves.  When you go adopt The Viable Alternative, you’re aware of that greatness, and surrender, so God can express it through you.

So to wrap everything up, I ask you:

1. What is unique about YOU?
2. What type of life would you like to live?
3. What do you LOVE to do?
4. What are you passionate about (no matter how insignificant it seems)?

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These questions weren’t only meant for you to answer, but also, for the purpose of you getting interested in who YOU are.  Think about how people are fascinated by what George Washington ate for breakfast, what time Michael Jackson liked to wake up in the morning, what the Dalai Lama’s favourite colour is, etc.  Well, look at yourself with the same fascination.  Eschew what you were taught by The Illusion and get in touch with YOU, your truths and your desires.  There is a scripture (Ps. 139:14) that says “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (if you’re freaking out, read here, this is a spiritual lesson, NOT a religious lesson) that shows that everything about you is great in its own right.  Everything about you, from your path, your quirks, and your style are all ingredients to your own unique greatness.  Get excited about you, and seek the path of self discovery for the purpose of finding the YOU that’s been hidden, and subsequently, the path of self-actualization so that the Divine can share this wonderful, unique, and inspiring YOU to the rest of the world.  This is The Viable Alternative.

How about the other component of The Viable Alternative?

Up until this point, I talked about The Viable Alternative as it pertains to you and your core truth within, however, there is another component that deals with the core truth without.  When we look around in the world, we see that there are many things that people are always striving after, such as health, wealth, happiness, fulfillment, etc.  Sadly, the striving of most people is in vain because they’re living in The Illusion, and have thus been fed false information about how to acquire these things.  A person who lives by The Viable Alternative stops believing the lies and found the truth for himself on how to acquire these things.

Think about the person who thinks that the only way he can become wealthy is by playing the lottery and buys a lottery ticket every week in hopes of “striking it rich”, as opposed to the person who seeks the association of wealthy people themselves so he can learn the principles of wealth that he can apply to become wealthy himself.  The first person is trapped in The Illusion, while the other person, who sought the truth for himself, has chosen to take the path of The Viable Alternative.

Or, think about the man who has an illness but after going to all the top medical specialists around the country, no doctor could figure out what’s wrong with him.  Finally, after exhausting all his options with traditional doctors, he goes to a holistic practitioner, and his illness is cured (not treated).  The route he chose to have his illness cured is The Viable Alternative.

How about television commercial that tells you that you can get fulfillment by buying a certain car?  The person who believes the commercial and buys the car hoping to be “fulfilled” is surely trapped in The Illusion.  The person who ignores the commercials “promises” and chooses to find his fulfillment within has chosen the path of The Viable Alternative.

In the same token, it’s the same way you go to your average supermarket or department store and buy products that promise make you look more youthful, boost your energy, satisfy your thirst, clean your clothes, make you smell good, etc, etc.  When one takes the time to do the research on the ingredients of many of these products, they find that many of these ingredients do more harm than good.  Some do their “job”, but to such a detriment to your overall, long term health that the negatives outweigh the positives.  That being said, it makes one think whether the makers of these products really know the truth of what they’re selling as opposed to the truth of how their products can REALLY do what they say they’re going to do without bringing harm.  Nonetheless, these ubiquitous, everyday products are part of The Illusion, and the lesser known products that get to the CORE truth of how to bring about that which people need are part of The Viable Alternative.

The Viable Alternative thus, is the road least taken because it tends to have the most resistance.